So much was learned during my journey back to Africa. The first time I visited in August/September 2015, I felt myself dissolving into the land. This most recent trip in May/June 2017, I felt myself expanding into the sky.
I’m not sure I can explain the connection I feel with everything when in Africa. Maybe it’s because the animals are so honest. The focus is on the now. Even the experience of a kill is not dwelled on long after. It is part of the cycle of life. The predator has only one motive in its killing: food needed to sustain its life. The prey does not feel it did something to call upon itself an attack. And those left behind may mourn their fallen mate, however, they do not dwell in the past.
Wild animals are programmed to survive. The wild animal within us is programmed to survive. Today’s survival in this wild world requires that we commit to going out into the unknown. Courage gives confidence. Anything that judges us (including ourselves) is dangerous. Shame is the single most danger. Shame is the worst wilderness there is. Shame is the most malevolent predator. It tortures for fun.
In Africa at Londolozi with Martha Beck and Boyd Varty and a dozen other wayfinders, I learned to track where courage and compassion live. I learned that the thing that most blocks you, frees you. I learned that suffering is not something to push against, but to embrace. If we can follow suffering to calm, the message is magic. Nothing is solid or a guarantee. Uncertaintly is what makes you more present. Being uncomfortable is what makes living worthwhile. Compliance is not natural. And being good at the expense of one’s integrity will kill you.
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