Archives for May 2015

The Duggars: Blurring Right and Wrong

May 23, 2015 By Paolina Milana Leave a Comment

TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” has always had its ups and downs, its lovers, and, more than its fair share, perhaps, of haters. Most recently, the family’s eldest son Josh Duggar spoke out in response to reports that he was once accused of molesting five underage girls as a teen.

“Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably, for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret,” said Josh.

I’m not condoning what Josh did. Nor am I condemning it. Why…? Because in the writing of my memoir The S Word, I understand that life is messy. It isn’t black and white. The lines between right and wrong, good and evil, predator and prey are so often blurred.

In my own coming of age, my fantasies were filled with Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky.

“I wanna kiss ya . . . Ya don’t have to kiss me back if ya don’t feel like it.” [Read more…]

First Book Signing Tomorrow…

May 16, 2015 By Paolina Milana Leave a Comment

…And I gotta admit, I’m a bit scared. True, that’s yet another “S” word, but not sure it’s one I fancy right now.

It’s a strange swirl of emotions I’m experiencing. Didn’t expect ’em. Not quite sure what I expected to feel. For so long, I had lived in silence, keeping my coming of age a secret. That silence nearly suffocated me. So I finally found my voice and for at least the last decade have struggled to write my story. For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamt of the day I would get it published. That day came on May 5, 2015. In the past couple of weeks, The S Word made it to a top 5 list on BuzzFeed. Tomorrow is my first stop of a three city book tour. It’s everything I have worked so hard to make happen. So why aren’t I jumping for joy? [Read more…]

Why I Hate Mother’s Day

May 10, 2015 By Paolina Milana Leave a Comment

Mom and I, with me wearing the first communion dress she made for me.

Anne Lamott is one of my favorite authors. From the first word I read from her 1995 book “Bird by Bird,” I felt a special bond with this person I had never met. Her recent post on Salon.com wherein she shares her reasons on why she hates Mother’s Day just further underscores why I love her. She writes: “It celebrates the great lie about women: That those with children are more important than those without.”

I must admit that I agree with Anne. I’ve regretted, at times, not having had children, and I’ve felt “less than” other women because of it. But that’s not why I find myself hating Mother’s Day. This year, in particular, I greatly despise it. Maybe it’s because this is the year that my memoir The S Word published. Maybe. Or maybe it’s because on this Mother’s Day, I’m finally allowing myself to feel robbed. My coming of age years, especially, suffered due to my mother’s mental illness. Paranoid schizophrenia did rob me of having a mother. But it’s more than that… [Read more…]